You have hit on EXACTLY what aggravates me about the multitude of BL stories I've read that insist on having such bastard seme characters. Sometimes it just makes me want to bang my head against the wall in despair at how it seems like 90% of the BL authors seem to think that men being bastardly and possessive and jealous and selfishly controlling is a sign of TWU WUV. Yuck. Not for me, thanks, not even in fiction where I'm usually willing to indulge in the occasional suspension of belief (and which I find is often essential in enjoying BL). I don't see such behaviour that can EVER be seen as a sign of love unless you happen to be a very masochistic woman whose only goal in life is to be subjucated.

I think if I ever came across a man like that, I WOULD be tempted to channel Lorena Bobbitt.