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insanenekoIn Amai Seikatsu (Sweet Life) written by Konohara Narise and illustrated by Ishihara Satoru, college student Fujii Kiyotaka becomes the tutor of Sannomiya (I couldn't find the reading for the name, so I picked the one that I liked the sound of the most ^^;) Fumikazu, a fourth grader who has stopped talking and going to school. Fed up with Fumikazu's blankness and unable to contain his sexual desire for him, Fujii rapes him. That's the start of their very messed up relationship...
This novel is, frankly, unpleasant. The main character Fujii is contemptible and the ending is...in some ways inevitable but is far from satisfying. Shota/pedophilia is a major squick of mine, but what kept me reading instead of throwing the book aside in disgust is that author does not portray the pedophilia in a titillating manner. She does convey the arousal Fujii experiences, but there is a distance between the reader and the scene (and Fujii's feelings). I also wanted to know where Konohara-sensei would take this relationship. I wasn't disappointed, but I don't think I'll be rereading this over and over. ^^; The experience reminded me of Iya na yatsu, but in many ways Iya na yatsu was a lot more satisfying a read to me. It helped that the characters were more balanced. You could make an argument that either character could be called an "iya na yatsu" (and tough Kazuya is weak and cowardly and dishonest, at least he's not a child molester!). In this novel, it's all Fujii (though Fumikazu does not stay "the victim", thankfully).
Fujii Kiyotaka is a college student who realized he was gay a while back. He never had the courage to confess to the various friends he fell for or to seek out other gay men and only had fantasies about his current crush to comfort him. Through that current crush's introduction, he becomes Fumikazu's tutor. Fumikazu refuses to go to school or engage anyone. Fumikazu's step-mother, afraid of losing her position as Fumikazu's father's wife and tarnishing her image, does not seek professional help for the 10-year-old and instead clings to a series of college student tutors to try to draw Fumikazu out. Fumikazu's father is working overseas and has left the step-mother in charge of everything, including his son. At first, Fujii does try to engage Fumikazu, who is only interested in reading books. He suggests to the step-mother to get professional help, but only gets the "but what will people say?" excuse. Frustrated, he eventually snaps. Unfortunately, he already had some proclivities towards pedophilia and it turns into a brutal rape. He stays away for a week, totally afraid of being found out (but not, btw, feeling all that guilty about raping a little kid). But he finds out that Fumikazu has not spoken to anyone since he stopped going to school and realizes that he's safe. He then resumes his twice weekly "tutoring" sessions that only consists of sex. For some reason Fumikazu becomes attached to Fujii, and so when Fujii is asked by the step-mother to try to get Fumikazu to go to school, he does try. He doesn't think it'll work, but to his surprise the very next day Fumikazu announces he will attend school. The step-mother is grateful, and Fujii continues as Fumikazu's tutor for four years. Even though Fujii is pleased to have a compliant toy to have regular sex with, he slowly finds Fumikazu distasteful as Fumikazu grows older and bigger. Fumikazu reaches Fujii's height in the middle of junior high, and combined with Fumikazu's rather...unapproachable expressionless ness it triggers Fujii's aversion to those types of men. He uses the fact that he will be busy writing his thesis (or something like that?) to quit. He tries to quickly part with Fumikazu, but Fumikazu doesn't allow him to leave. Fumikazu tries to arouse Fujii enough to engage in sex, but Fujii, completely terrified at being overwhelmed by his usually docile (yet subtly menacing) toy, won't become erect. At that point, Fumikazu inserts himself into Fujii, telling Fujii that he loves him (well, he just says the single word "suki").
The next story is from Fumikazu's point of view, and we learn just how screwed up the kid is. He grew up without any affection or ability to function normally in society. His mother died when he was a baby and he was raised by a cold, severe nanny who drilled manners into him and kept him away from normal things kids would engage in (such as watching TV and being loved). His father married his step-mother when he was about six (I think), and though he really liked his step-mother (who was soft and gentle) he had no idea how to interact with her. Afraid of being rejected/disliked, he took to avoiding her (if there is no contact, there is no chance to offend, right?). Soon after the step-mother became pregnant and went back to her parent's house. She returned with his little brother, whom Fumikazu hated for absorbing his step-mother's attention. His brother eventually developed...I think asthma? The step-mother spent all her time caring for him while leaving Fumikazu, the obedient, good (if strange) child to mostly fend for himself. At school he was an outsider, but a particular incident made him the focus of major teasing/bullying in class. He endured it for quite a while until one morning he woke up and refused to go to school. At that point he hated the entire damn world and wished everyone would just disappear. But being a helpless child, he settled for taking himself out of the world. As mentioned before, the step-mother, being the shitty selfish bitch that she is, didn't get professional help and instead settled on using tutors to try to stimulate interest in school. After a string of tutors, he gets Fujii and we know what happens then. Fumikazu, starved for affection, embraces Fujii's attentions. Fujii becomes the center of his world. So when Fujii suggests that he go back to school, he does. He does whatever Fujii tells him to do. When Fujii tries to say goodbye to him, he panics. He tries to instigate their usual method of communication by trying to get Fujii to fuck him and fails, and so he fucks Fujii instead. Though Fujii does indeed quit being his tutor, Fumikazu goes to Fujii's apartment twice a week instead. Despite Fujii's protests and bitterness, he continues to initiate the sex that was his way of connecting with the person his life revolved around. (Just wanted to say that normally, such an extreme background would normally elicit a "you have to be kidding me" response, but in this case it made Fumikazu's reaction much more understandable...)
In junior high Fumikazu discovers basketball and gains a friend who can appreciate him for himself. Morimura is also a member of the basketball team, and understanding that Fumikazu is unnaturally straightforward and unable to engage in social niceties, acts as a kind of buffer. It is Morimura who, upon learning some details of Fumikazu and Fujii's relationship, points out that something is very wrong with it. (As an aside, he finds out along with the rest of the basketball team when they are talking about sex--as teenage boys will do--and ask Fumikazu if he's had experience. Fumikazu honestly replies that his first experience was in fourth grade with a man...which results in a lot of mean teasing which doesn't bother him at all--he doesn't really give a damn about almost everybody--though it does bother Morimura. XD) Morimura suggests that Fujii is in fact a pervert and had taken advantage of Fumikazu. Fumikazu protests that Fujii loves him, but Morimura points out more things that really makes Fumikazu very anxious. He comes to realize that Fujii had in fact been only after his young body and avoids going to Fujii's apartment for a while. When they happen to meet at a train station, Fumikazu tells Fujii that he won't see Fujii anymore because Fujii is a pervert. When he asks Fujii if Fujii loved him, Fujii scornfully replies in the negative....
Fumikazu has to adjust to a life that didn't revolve around Fujii, but manages to go about a year without seeing Fujii. But when he is confessed to by a girl who asks him if he loves anyone, he immediately replies that he does. He thinks on that for a while, until he comes to an epiphany. He doesn't care that Fujii is a pervert who doesn't give a shit about him and took advantage of him, he loved Fujii and still does. He decides that that is the only important thing for him and that he will install himself as part of Fujii's life...even if it's just as a piece of furniture. He plays hooky and goes straight to Fujii's apartment, fully prepared to throw away everything else in his life. Fumikazu, once allowed into Fujii's apartment, refuses to leave. Even with Fujii's demands he leave and his step-mother's tears and accusations of causing so much distress and trouble for her, he refuses. Fujii and Fumikazu's step-mother, defeated by Fumikazu's stubbornness, decide to let Fumikazu stay until he decides to go back home. Fujii tells Fumikazu he can stay, but clearly lays out that he has a boyfriend and will not have sex with him (as well as telling him he has to go to school because having him around 24/7 would drive him mad). Fumikazu is just happy that he can be with Fujii...
Er..somewhere along the way the story from Fumikazu's POV ends and we start up with Fujii's POV again. I...can't remember and don't really want to go look to see where the break is (yes, I'm doing this all by memory ^^;). In any case, we learn that Fujii has his own problems. His boyfriend? Turns out to be quite a bastard. They had met online and had started dating. At first the boyfriend was very kind and Fujii was very happy to finally have an adult boyfriend that would indulge him. Slowly, the boyfriend turned verbally, physically, and sexually abusive, though at times showing Fujii gentleness (which, of course, kept Fujii from breaking off with him). Fujii endured it all partly because he's a weak coward, but also because he clung to the time when he thought he was loved (hm...doesn't this make a nice parallel with someone?). Things turn really bad when he goes to his boyfriend's house on his birthday to find his boyfriend with another guy. Not only was the boyfriend not abashed, he and the other guy end up raping Fujii. Fujii had lost consciousness during the ordeal, and wakes up to overhear his boyfriend basically calling him the equivalent of a fuck toy. He waits for the two to fall asleep before dragging his sorry ass home and crying all night. The very next day, coincidentally, is the day Fumikazu shows up declaring his love.
Fujii really doesn't have any feelings for Fumikazu. Though he has no intention of staying with his boyfriend (who doesn't even bother to call him for months), he has no interest in Fumikazu, even physically. That is, until a small incident causes Fujii to see Fumikazu in a different way, as a hot, young man instead of the useless outgrown version of the young boy he had desired so much. He finds himself incredibly aroused despite himself, and is discovered by Fumikazu while trying to surreptitiously take care of his erection. They have mad sex, during which Fujii rediscovers the joys of sex that isn't just having a dick stuck in him with no regard to his pleasure. There is an interval of truly crazy wild sex, which Fujii tries to put some breaks on and fails. Fujii is torn by the fact that he can't get enough of Fumikazu physically yet really doesn't feel anything for Fumikazu. Fumikazu declares his love for Fujii, claiming that if Fujii died he'd commit suicide. Fujii doesn't know what to make of Fumikazu's intense feeling, but also feels extremely pleased that he doesn't return even an ounce of Fumikazu's passion (this is fueled by his victim complex re: Fumikazu and his resentment over the reversal of roles and his loss of control).
There's an extremely satisfying encounter between Morimura and Fujii, during which Morimura flings (true) accusations at Fujii and demands that Fujii get his claws off of Fumikazu. Fujii flees, while making typical "blame the victim" excuses (it's all Fumikazu's fault for "tempting" him with his alluring young body!).
Things come to a head when the boyfriend makes overtures to Fujii several months later. Fujii ignores the calls/text messages, eventually blocking the boyfriend's phone. The boyfriend then shows up at Fujii's work place, and Fujii reluctantly goes to dinner with him. Fujii clearly states that he isn't interested in resuming a relationship with the boyfriend, even when the boyfriend claims he'll be nice to Fujii, and leaves. The next day the boyfriend shows up at Fujii's apartment. He pushes his way into Fujii's apartment and sees that there are two places for dinner set. He jumps to the conclusion that, despite Fujii's claims otherwise, Fujii has a new man. He starts slapping Fujii around. Fujii attempts to run away, but is dragged to bed and raped (the boyfriend claims that he'll remind Fujii that he's a slut that will take any guy who will fuck him). Fumikazu comes home from practice during the rape and throws the boyfriend out (after beating the shit out of him). Fujii is pretty much a wreck. He wants to be comforted by the warmth of Fumikazu's regard, but Fumikazu keeps his distance. He wants to know (very reasonably) if that guy was Fujii's boyfriend, and if Fujii loves that guy. Fujii, a mess, can't even hold a coherent dialogue with Fumikazu. He accuses Fumikazu of not being truthful about loving Fujii no matter what, weeps hysterically that he'll lose even Fumikazu, but then realizes the key to keeping Fumikazu. He tells Fumikazu that he loves him.
In the epilogue, Morimura and Fumikazu are having a friendly chat. Fumikazu tells Morimura that he will be going to college because "he was told it'd make it easier to get a job" (though there is no subject to that sentence it's pretty damn obvious who told him that), even though he had previously not been interested in going. Morimura asks if Fumikazu is still with Fujii. Being a decent human being and a good friend, he is not very happy about it since he knows Fujii is a contemptible bastard. But Fumikazu happily tells Morimura that he's now Fujii's boyfriend, since Fujii has said he loves him. Morimura points out that Fujii is dishonest. Fumikazu acknowledges that fact, but he knows that Fujii is also very weak. He can protect Fujii, and he is immensely pleased by that fact. Morimura can't say anything more. He can only stare into Fumikazu's happy face....
And that's the end of that. Some of the details and the timeline might be wrong, but I think I got most of it. The ending is so depressing yet so appropriate I can't even mock it, really. The readers, through seeing into both Fumikazu and Fujii's minds, are shown just how messed up and pathetic they both are. It's hard to imagine either one ever being able to be in normal relationships. Fumikazu is obviously stuck as a child, emotionally. He is straightforward and focused and oblivious to reality/obstacles as only a child can be. He's attached to Fujii and won't let him go, despite having some understanding, thanks to Morimura, that things aren't right. Fujii, on the other hand, was doomed when the first adult relationship he entered into turned out so badly. He really didn't have any attachment to Fumikazu and might have managed to somehow shake him off, despite being a weak coward. But put into a position between a sadistic heartless bastard and a freaky obsessed kid, he choses Fumikazu. Fujii starts out as a predator only because he happened to be put into a position of authority over a messed up MUTE kid with no outlet. He didn't have the courage to seek out other gay men, I doubt he would have ever sought out any boys to molest of his own initiative. He initially enjoys dominating Fumikazu (probably because he's such a weak coward he'd only be able to dominate a little kid). But eventually he's put in his place first by Fumikazu (who doesn't mean to trample all over Fujii's pride...he's motivated completely by his need to be close to Fujii) then by the abusive boyfriend. While it'd seem natural to gloat over Fujii being abused by the boyfriend, Konohara-sensei's patented "brutal realism" really made me feel sorry for Fujii. I know Fujii is a contemptible bastard, but...the boyfriend was really nasty. He was taken down so low that he could only cling to the child he had scorned so much before...
It's sad that, while I enjoyed the injection of decency and normalcy by Morimura, by the end I wanted him to shut up because I was resigned to the fact that the two were, by this point, really suitable only for each other. Despite his attempt at bringing Fumikazu into normalcy, Fumikazu is so messed up a well-meaning friend isn't going to change him. ^^;
This novel is, frankly, unpleasant. The main character Fujii is contemptible and the ending is...in some ways inevitable but is far from satisfying. Shota/pedophilia is a major squick of mine, but what kept me reading instead of throwing the book aside in disgust is that author does not portray the pedophilia in a titillating manner. She does convey the arousal Fujii experiences, but there is a distance between the reader and the scene (and Fujii's feelings). I also wanted to know where Konohara-sensei would take this relationship. I wasn't disappointed, but I don't think I'll be rereading this over and over. ^^; The experience reminded me of Iya na yatsu, but in many ways Iya na yatsu was a lot more satisfying a read to me. It helped that the characters were more balanced. You could make an argument that either character could be called an "iya na yatsu" (and tough Kazuya is weak and cowardly and dishonest, at least he's not a child molester!). In this novel, it's all Fujii (though Fumikazu does not stay "the victim", thankfully).
Fujii Kiyotaka is a college student who realized he was gay a while back. He never had the courage to confess to the various friends he fell for or to seek out other gay men and only had fantasies about his current crush to comfort him. Through that current crush's introduction, he becomes Fumikazu's tutor. Fumikazu refuses to go to school or engage anyone. Fumikazu's step-mother, afraid of losing her position as Fumikazu's father's wife and tarnishing her image, does not seek professional help for the 10-year-old and instead clings to a series of college student tutors to try to draw Fumikazu out. Fumikazu's father is working overseas and has left the step-mother in charge of everything, including his son. At first, Fujii does try to engage Fumikazu, who is only interested in reading books. He suggests to the step-mother to get professional help, but only gets the "but what will people say?" excuse. Frustrated, he eventually snaps. Unfortunately, he already had some proclivities towards pedophilia and it turns into a brutal rape. He stays away for a week, totally afraid of being found out (but not, btw, feeling all that guilty about raping a little kid). But he finds out that Fumikazu has not spoken to anyone since he stopped going to school and realizes that he's safe. He then resumes his twice weekly "tutoring" sessions that only consists of sex. For some reason Fumikazu becomes attached to Fujii, and so when Fujii is asked by the step-mother to try to get Fumikazu to go to school, he does try. He doesn't think it'll work, but to his surprise the very next day Fumikazu announces he will attend school. The step-mother is grateful, and Fujii continues as Fumikazu's tutor for four years. Even though Fujii is pleased to have a compliant toy to have regular sex with, he slowly finds Fumikazu distasteful as Fumikazu grows older and bigger. Fumikazu reaches Fujii's height in the middle of junior high, and combined with Fumikazu's rather...unapproachable expressionless ness it triggers Fujii's aversion to those types of men. He uses the fact that he will be busy writing his thesis (or something like that?) to quit. He tries to quickly part with Fumikazu, but Fumikazu doesn't allow him to leave. Fumikazu tries to arouse Fujii enough to engage in sex, but Fujii, completely terrified at being overwhelmed by his usually docile (yet subtly menacing) toy, won't become erect. At that point, Fumikazu inserts himself into Fujii, telling Fujii that he loves him (well, he just says the single word "suki").
The next story is from Fumikazu's point of view, and we learn just how screwed up the kid is. He grew up without any affection or ability to function normally in society. His mother died when he was a baby and he was raised by a cold, severe nanny who drilled manners into him and kept him away from normal things kids would engage in (such as watching TV and being loved). His father married his step-mother when he was about six (I think), and though he really liked his step-mother (who was soft and gentle) he had no idea how to interact with her. Afraid of being rejected/disliked, he took to avoiding her (if there is no contact, there is no chance to offend, right?). Soon after the step-mother became pregnant and went back to her parent's house. She returned with his little brother, whom Fumikazu hated for absorbing his step-mother's attention. His brother eventually developed...I think asthma? The step-mother spent all her time caring for him while leaving Fumikazu, the obedient, good (if strange) child to mostly fend for himself. At school he was an outsider, but a particular incident made him the focus of major teasing/bullying in class. He endured it for quite a while until one morning he woke up and refused to go to school. At that point he hated the entire damn world and wished everyone would just disappear. But being a helpless child, he settled for taking himself out of the world. As mentioned before, the step-mother, being the shitty selfish bitch that she is, didn't get professional help and instead settled on using tutors to try to stimulate interest in school. After a string of tutors, he gets Fujii and we know what happens then. Fumikazu, starved for affection, embraces Fujii's attentions. Fujii becomes the center of his world. So when Fujii suggests that he go back to school, he does. He does whatever Fujii tells him to do. When Fujii tries to say goodbye to him, he panics. He tries to instigate their usual method of communication by trying to get Fujii to fuck him and fails, and so he fucks Fujii instead. Though Fujii does indeed quit being his tutor, Fumikazu goes to Fujii's apartment twice a week instead. Despite Fujii's protests and bitterness, he continues to initiate the sex that was his way of connecting with the person his life revolved around. (Just wanted to say that normally, such an extreme background would normally elicit a "you have to be kidding me" response, but in this case it made Fumikazu's reaction much more understandable...)
In junior high Fumikazu discovers basketball and gains a friend who can appreciate him for himself. Morimura is also a member of the basketball team, and understanding that Fumikazu is unnaturally straightforward and unable to engage in social niceties, acts as a kind of buffer. It is Morimura who, upon learning some details of Fumikazu and Fujii's relationship, points out that something is very wrong with it. (As an aside, he finds out along with the rest of the basketball team when they are talking about sex--as teenage boys will do--and ask Fumikazu if he's had experience. Fumikazu honestly replies that his first experience was in fourth grade with a man...which results in a lot of mean teasing which doesn't bother him at all--he doesn't really give a damn about almost everybody--though it does bother Morimura. XD) Morimura suggests that Fujii is in fact a pervert and had taken advantage of Fumikazu. Fumikazu protests that Fujii loves him, but Morimura points out more things that really makes Fumikazu very anxious. He comes to realize that Fujii had in fact been only after his young body and avoids going to Fujii's apartment for a while. When they happen to meet at a train station, Fumikazu tells Fujii that he won't see Fujii anymore because Fujii is a pervert. When he asks Fujii if Fujii loved him, Fujii scornfully replies in the negative....
Fumikazu has to adjust to a life that didn't revolve around Fujii, but manages to go about a year without seeing Fujii. But when he is confessed to by a girl who asks him if he loves anyone, he immediately replies that he does. He thinks on that for a while, until he comes to an epiphany. He doesn't care that Fujii is a pervert who doesn't give a shit about him and took advantage of him, he loved Fujii and still does. He decides that that is the only important thing for him and that he will install himself as part of Fujii's life...even if it's just as a piece of furniture. He plays hooky and goes straight to Fujii's apartment, fully prepared to throw away everything else in his life. Fumikazu, once allowed into Fujii's apartment, refuses to leave. Even with Fujii's demands he leave and his step-mother's tears and accusations of causing so much distress and trouble for her, he refuses. Fujii and Fumikazu's step-mother, defeated by Fumikazu's stubbornness, decide to let Fumikazu stay until he decides to go back home. Fujii tells Fumikazu he can stay, but clearly lays out that he has a boyfriend and will not have sex with him (as well as telling him he has to go to school because having him around 24/7 would drive him mad). Fumikazu is just happy that he can be with Fujii...
Er..somewhere along the way the story from Fumikazu's POV ends and we start up with Fujii's POV again. I...can't remember and don't really want to go look to see where the break is (yes, I'm doing this all by memory ^^;). In any case, we learn that Fujii has his own problems. His boyfriend? Turns out to be quite a bastard. They had met online and had started dating. At first the boyfriend was very kind and Fujii was very happy to finally have an adult boyfriend that would indulge him. Slowly, the boyfriend turned verbally, physically, and sexually abusive, though at times showing Fujii gentleness (which, of course, kept Fujii from breaking off with him). Fujii endured it all partly because he's a weak coward, but also because he clung to the time when he thought he was loved (hm...doesn't this make a nice parallel with someone?). Things turn really bad when he goes to his boyfriend's house on his birthday to find his boyfriend with another guy. Not only was the boyfriend not abashed, he and the other guy end up raping Fujii. Fujii had lost consciousness during the ordeal, and wakes up to overhear his boyfriend basically calling him the equivalent of a fuck toy. He waits for the two to fall asleep before dragging his sorry ass home and crying all night. The very next day, coincidentally, is the day Fumikazu shows up declaring his love.
Fujii really doesn't have any feelings for Fumikazu. Though he has no intention of staying with his boyfriend (who doesn't even bother to call him for months), he has no interest in Fumikazu, even physically. That is, until a small incident causes Fujii to see Fumikazu in a different way, as a hot, young man instead of the useless outgrown version of the young boy he had desired so much. He finds himself incredibly aroused despite himself, and is discovered by Fumikazu while trying to surreptitiously take care of his erection. They have mad sex, during which Fujii rediscovers the joys of sex that isn't just having a dick stuck in him with no regard to his pleasure. There is an interval of truly crazy wild sex, which Fujii tries to put some breaks on and fails. Fujii is torn by the fact that he can't get enough of Fumikazu physically yet really doesn't feel anything for Fumikazu. Fumikazu declares his love for Fujii, claiming that if Fujii died he'd commit suicide. Fujii doesn't know what to make of Fumikazu's intense feeling, but also feels extremely pleased that he doesn't return even an ounce of Fumikazu's passion (this is fueled by his victim complex re: Fumikazu and his resentment over the reversal of roles and his loss of control).
There's an extremely satisfying encounter between Morimura and Fujii, during which Morimura flings (true) accusations at Fujii and demands that Fujii get his claws off of Fumikazu. Fujii flees, while making typical "blame the victim" excuses (it's all Fumikazu's fault for "tempting" him with his alluring young body!).
Things come to a head when the boyfriend makes overtures to Fujii several months later. Fujii ignores the calls/text messages, eventually blocking the boyfriend's phone. The boyfriend then shows up at Fujii's work place, and Fujii reluctantly goes to dinner with him. Fujii clearly states that he isn't interested in resuming a relationship with the boyfriend, even when the boyfriend claims he'll be nice to Fujii, and leaves. The next day the boyfriend shows up at Fujii's apartment. He pushes his way into Fujii's apartment and sees that there are two places for dinner set. He jumps to the conclusion that, despite Fujii's claims otherwise, Fujii has a new man. He starts slapping Fujii around. Fujii attempts to run away, but is dragged to bed and raped (the boyfriend claims that he'll remind Fujii that he's a slut that will take any guy who will fuck him). Fumikazu comes home from practice during the rape and throws the boyfriend out (after beating the shit out of him). Fujii is pretty much a wreck. He wants to be comforted by the warmth of Fumikazu's regard, but Fumikazu keeps his distance. He wants to know (very reasonably) if that guy was Fujii's boyfriend, and if Fujii loves that guy. Fujii, a mess, can't even hold a coherent dialogue with Fumikazu. He accuses Fumikazu of not being truthful about loving Fujii no matter what, weeps hysterically that he'll lose even Fumikazu, but then realizes the key to keeping Fumikazu. He tells Fumikazu that he loves him.
In the epilogue, Morimura and Fumikazu are having a friendly chat. Fumikazu tells Morimura that he will be going to college because "he was told it'd make it easier to get a job" (though there is no subject to that sentence it's pretty damn obvious who told him that), even though he had previously not been interested in going. Morimura asks if Fumikazu is still with Fujii. Being a decent human being and a good friend, he is not very happy about it since he knows Fujii is a contemptible bastard. But Fumikazu happily tells Morimura that he's now Fujii's boyfriend, since Fujii has said he loves him. Morimura points out that Fujii is dishonest. Fumikazu acknowledges that fact, but he knows that Fujii is also very weak. He can protect Fujii, and he is immensely pleased by that fact. Morimura can't say anything more. He can only stare into Fumikazu's happy face....
And that's the end of that. Some of the details and the timeline might be wrong, but I think I got most of it. The ending is so depressing yet so appropriate I can't even mock it, really. The readers, through seeing into both Fumikazu and Fujii's minds, are shown just how messed up and pathetic they both are. It's hard to imagine either one ever being able to be in normal relationships. Fumikazu is obviously stuck as a child, emotionally. He is straightforward and focused and oblivious to reality/obstacles as only a child can be. He's attached to Fujii and won't let him go, despite having some understanding, thanks to Morimura, that things aren't right. Fujii, on the other hand, was doomed when the first adult relationship he entered into turned out so badly. He really didn't have any attachment to Fumikazu and might have managed to somehow shake him off, despite being a weak coward. But put into a position between a sadistic heartless bastard and a freaky obsessed kid, he choses Fumikazu. Fujii starts out as a predator only because he happened to be put into a position of authority over a messed up MUTE kid with no outlet. He didn't have the courage to seek out other gay men, I doubt he would have ever sought out any boys to molest of his own initiative. He initially enjoys dominating Fumikazu (probably because he's such a weak coward he'd only be able to dominate a little kid). But eventually he's put in his place first by Fumikazu (who doesn't mean to trample all over Fujii's pride...he's motivated completely by his need to be close to Fujii) then by the abusive boyfriend. While it'd seem natural to gloat over Fujii being abused by the boyfriend, Konohara-sensei's patented "brutal realism" really made me feel sorry for Fujii. I know Fujii is a contemptible bastard, but...the boyfriend was really nasty. He was taken down so low that he could only cling to the child he had scorned so much before...
It's sad that, while I enjoyed the injection of decency and normalcy by Morimura, by the end I wanted him to shut up because I was resigned to the fact that the two were, by this point, really suitable only for each other. Despite his attempt at bringing Fumikazu into normalcy, Fumikazu is so messed up a well-meaning friend isn't going to change him. ^^;
