bastards get more whoopie?

[insaneneko]

According to a new study, men who are narcissistic, thrill-seeking liars and all round "bad boys" tend to have the greatest success finding more sexual partners.

My first reaction was, the bastard alpha seme type has a real basis for popularity? More from the article:

Researchers at New Mexico State University tested 200 university students for three characteristics which when taken together have been dubbed the "dark triad" by psychologists.

These are a tendency to lie and manipulate others, the selfishness associated with narcissism and impulsive behaviour that gives little thought to consequence.

"Dark triad" sounds like really bad attempt at "cooling-sounding" Engrish, frankly.

Comments

[paper-legends.livejournal.com]

It's funny, but I've found that to be true, both of most women I know, and, in the past, of myself--before I had to learn a very hard and very scary lesson, in that regard.

I think "bad boys" have a few things "good girls" tend to crave: the air of confidence and a strong sense of self; a lust for life and danger supported by a deep trust in their masculinity; and an (often pretended) underdog the-world-will-never-understand-me and I'd-grow-up if only the-right-woman-would-just-love-me-for-who-I-am thing. We nurturing types, taught to be demure and ladylike, to sacrifice our happiness for the sake of others, to fit the princess paradigm, are both at once envious of the bad boys' freedom and also feel a sense of pride and worth when they turn their fickle attentions intensely on us and play that sympathy card, as if, by the grace of our good hearts, we save them somehow.

I played that out, once, and for a while, it was all candles and music and love-making for hours and I need you so much, and ended in what I'm going to call an "unprotected assault" and the most appalling lack of consideration for myself as a human being afterward.

Do I still find "bad boys" sexy? Hell, yes. Give me a Richard Sharpe. An Ardeth Bay. Sound of Music's Captain von Trapp. Jane Eyre's Mr. Rochester. Gladiator's Maximus. Little Women's Laury. Hellsing's fallen angle Gabriel. Of course, bring on the manly men. Because, in stories, bad boys end up becoming heroes for the sake of love. I'm not sure it works that way in real life, though...

I'm now in the course of a slow-budding relationship with a "good boy"--quite younger than me, innocent and inexperienced, but a gentleman to the core. My sexual attraction toward him is nowhere near as heated, despite the fact that he's pleasing enough to look at. But, emotionally, he's much more along the lines of a Pride and Prejudice's Mr. Bingly, or To Kill a Mockingbird's Atticus, or Sense and Sensibility's Col. Brandon. Absolutely NOT what I'd ever consider looking for usually. But considered how bruised and crushed I'd come away from my last relationship, I figure it is perhaps healthy to experiment with someone of the opposite nature.

I find myself sometimes frustrated that he never takes the lead or makes a decision and always asks permission before so much as holding my hand. It's not my concept of a "man." Perhaps I've read too many romance novels, but, when a man is attracted to a woman, I imagine he would stride across the room, crush her to his chest, and kiss her within an inch of her life, then drown in her pleasure and worship her with his body and soul, and that is the way a man loves.

But, being young, he has time to grow confident, experienced, and masculine. There's always the potential. He'll never be the heroic, swashbuckling type, and certainly no bad boy like Dean Wincester... And if being lovers doesn't work out b/c of that, at least I know I'll always have a friend in him, and he would never knowingly hurt me.

Again, his passivity, selflessness, and shyness are not what I'd look for in a sexual partner, but if I were to consider giving a man my heart? It would perhaps be wise to pick someone as worthy as this fellow... even if just in friendship.

It is hard to find a balance, isn't it, between being dangerously sexy and heroic enough to make a good husband and father? If only life were like all my favorite movies... ^_^

Oh, and dark triad does so very much sound like something Anne Rice would come up with. Tee hee.

[insaneneko.livejournal.com]

That's true. Part of a lot of women want a man to sweep them off their feet, but then they'd have to deal with not having a say in things and just going with what he wants. Which can result in experiences like yours. But having sensitive and passive men who actually care about what we want can be...frustrating as well. Getting a man with the right balance between assertive and considerate is so hard.