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insanenekoThis long weekend seems to be the weekend where I reject computers and TVs and anything else that makes me look at a screen...I've barely been online (only really writing short bits in my LJ, downloading stuff from ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
seiyuu, and quickly checking out my flist) and I've totally avoided the TV (not like that's very far from normal) or chatting. Instead, I've just read. Read and read and read and read, and I'm almost tired of reading but I know I can't ever really get sick of it. First Hikago DJ on Saturday, PoT DJ on Sunday, and today a BL series I had bought a while back but for various reasons hadn't read till now.
The BL series has completely exhausted me. It is so shoujo in that the main character Futaba's POV narration often digresses into long, LONG introspection about his feelings, his lover's feelings, or whatever. But it is still good in that it makes me want to keep reading, and there are a lot of different things that make me think.
A lot of shit happens to Futaba, but what really upset me was reading about his family. He basically has a miserable life because they are so concerned with "normalcy," and in order to convince themselves that they are normal, they blame everything on Futaba. What the hell is "normal?" Who the hell really wants to be "normal?" Who decides what is "normal?" Does being "normal" mean crushing anything outside of that? Treating anything outside of that as evil/wrong/sick? It was really painful reading Futaba first being utterly crushed under their constant criticism, but the moment he realizes that he was in fact being used as a scapegoat was the most heartbreaking. Who doesn't want to be loved and accepted by their family? Who wouldn't be terribly scarred the moment they realize that their mother had never loved them?
The second issue that made me think was what it meant to be "male" or "female," "gay" or "straight." Futaba had unfortunately been made to sleep with a lot of guys in his time even though he wasn't gay, but had finally found true love. But his true love was a guy. Did that make him (and his lover) gay? It's a theme that comes up often in BL, but what made this situation more interesting is when Futaba ends up working at a gay bar as a waiter. He is surrounded by men who dress up as women and entertain other men. Some are gay crossdressers, who are men who love other men. Some are "women," in that they feel/act/ARE women (some even going as far as getting surgery). Futaba gets a bit confused because he is a bit attracted to one of the "women" hostesses...in any case, all the convoluted agonizing he goes through was actually really interesting to read.
And now I'm in the last book, and things aren't looking good. Is there such a thing as an eternal, passionate love? From how things are now, it doesn't look that way. Futaba's awakening to true love was really something to read. It was probably overdone, his internal narration going on and on, but even so, it made me smile and cry because he was finally feeling such powerful and wonderful emotions after such a shitty life. His awkward (and rather pathetic) attempts at communicating his feelings were so sweet...but at where I am, the love is still there but it's so mechanical, it's really depressing. *sigh*
I did want to add that the Loveless preanime CD which contains an interview of Ritsuka and Soubi by Yuiko and then VA free talk after that atseiyuu....post here...I'm not sure if I like Soubi's voice. >_
seiyuu, and quickly checking out my flist) and I've totally avoided the TV (not like that's very far from normal) or chatting. Instead, I've just read. Read and read and read and read, and I'm almost tired of reading but I know I can't ever really get sick of it. First Hikago DJ on Saturday, PoT DJ on Sunday, and today a BL series I had bought a while back but for various reasons hadn't read till now.The BL series has completely exhausted me. It is so shoujo in that the main character Futaba's POV narration often digresses into long, LONG introspection about his feelings, his lover's feelings, or whatever. But it is still good in that it makes me want to keep reading, and there are a lot of different things that make me think.
A lot of shit happens to Futaba, but what really upset me was reading about his family. He basically has a miserable life because they are so concerned with "normalcy," and in order to convince themselves that they are normal, they blame everything on Futaba. What the hell is "normal?" Who the hell really wants to be "normal?" Who decides what is "normal?" Does being "normal" mean crushing anything outside of that? Treating anything outside of that as evil/wrong/sick? It was really painful reading Futaba first being utterly crushed under their constant criticism, but the moment he realizes that he was in fact being used as a scapegoat was the most heartbreaking. Who doesn't want to be loved and accepted by their family? Who wouldn't be terribly scarred the moment they realize that their mother had never loved them?
The second issue that made me think was what it meant to be "male" or "female," "gay" or "straight." Futaba had unfortunately been made to sleep with a lot of guys in his time even though he wasn't gay, but had finally found true love. But his true love was a guy. Did that make him (and his lover) gay? It's a theme that comes up often in BL, but what made this situation more interesting is when Futaba ends up working at a gay bar as a waiter. He is surrounded by men who dress up as women and entertain other men. Some are gay crossdressers, who are men who love other men. Some are "women," in that they feel/act/ARE women (some even going as far as getting surgery). Futaba gets a bit confused because he is a bit attracted to one of the "women" hostesses...in any case, all the convoluted agonizing he goes through was actually really interesting to read.
And now I'm in the last book, and things aren't looking good. Is there such a thing as an eternal, passionate love? From how things are now, it doesn't look that way. Futaba's awakening to true love was really something to read. It was probably overdone, his internal narration going on and on, but even so, it made me smile and cry because he was finally feeling such powerful and wonderful emotions after such a shitty life. His awkward (and rather pathetic) attempts at communicating his feelings were so sweet...but at where I am, the love is still there but it's so mechanical, it's really depressing. *sigh*
I did want to add that the Loveless preanime CD which contains an interview of Ritsuka and Soubi by Yuiko and then VA free talk after that at
seiyuu....post here...I'm not sure if I like Soubi's voice. >_
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2005-02-23 12:52 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-02-24 07:03 am (UTC)You can judge for yourself about the suitability of the voices.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-02-24 10:16 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-02-25 11:54 pm (UTC)